Matthew 17-19. This is such a rich passage. I would love to spend a few days simply in these chapters. Today I am reflecting on forgiveness, but I could easily have reflected on God’s heart for reconciliation (found in the parable of the Lost Sheep), the value of children in our lives and our communities, the intention of faithfulfulness, or even the call to give things up/away. Just another example of how incredible deep the Bible is. Thank you, God, for your Word.
Matthew 18:21-35
Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.
“For this reason the Kingdom of Heaven mayh be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents [150,000 years' worth of pay] was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii [about 3 months' worth of pay], and siezing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ The his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt… The his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay h is entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
This is an incredible story. Peter asked Jesus about forgive other believers, and Jesus tells this story in response. It is important to remember that this is a story about forgiving people who believe what we believe, people of the “church”, or “brothers” as other versions (mine is the NRSV) say. These are people that aught to be living according to the higher standard of God, and are also people who would be closer. I think we all recognize that it is often harder to forgive someone who is close to us, who we had higher expectations for, and who hurt us deeply, than it is to forgive someone we have little or no relationship with. That is the idea behind the question: do I have to constantly forgive the one who hurts me deeply over and over again?
It is amazing to me that Jesus’ response really had nothing to do with Peter’s feeling of pain, injustice, or his right to be angry or retaliate. Jesus’ response had everything to do with God. Basically he says that those of us who have experienced God’s forgiveness, being forgiven more than we could ever hope to repay, should under no circumstance refuse to forgive anyone else.
I think that so often my problem with forgiveness is that I think the other person should have known better (especially if they are a fellow Christian – which is what Peter’s question was about). If they should have known better and sinned against me anyway, then I must have the “right” to hold a grudge, to be hurt, or in the very least to expect their apology. Jesus simply says that it is rediculous not to forgive someone for something that in the grand scheme of life is so small when we have been forgiven everything.
Forgiveness says nothing about whether or not I have the right to feel hurt (and truly says nothing about whether or not I continue to feel hurt). Forgiveness is choosing to lay down my right to hold the other accountable, laying down my right to revenge, to getting even, and choosing to not hold the other at fault or to expect payment or an apology. Again, this does not mean that the pain of the hurt goes away, it just means that I choose to absolve the person who hurt me from what I have the right to hold over them.
Holy Spirit, as I choose to follow you, help me to walk in forgiveness,
complete forgiveness.
You have forgiven me for so much – for everything. I am so grateful.
In my gratitude toward you, let me forgive others.
Truly you love me, and your forgiveness demonstrates that you always want what is good for me.
Help me to demonstrate my good intentions, my desire for others’ well-being
by being forgiving toward them.
Truly it is only by your grace that I now live.
Amen.