Part I

When I first heard the phrase “monastic community” I pictured a group of celibate monks chanting prayers together.  I’m not celibate, nor am I a monk, and therefore this type of community seemed out-of-the-question.  Then I discovered what monastic communities looked outside of the Roman Catholic versions of them – monasteries that were for everyone.  Then I began to ask myself, what would it look like to live a monastic community within the context of the greater Seattle metropolitan area?  What would it mean to develop a monastery-like community in Everett or in Mill Creek?  What would life look like?  What could life look like?

I just finished reading a book entitled The Celtic Way of Evangelism: How Christianity can reach the West…Again, and needless to say it has caused some wheels to turn in my mind – of course if you know me then you understand how little it takes to do that!  In broad summary (don’t settle for summary as the book is worth the read) George G. Hunter  III presents the model of Christian belief, evangelism, communication, and lifestyle that the apostle Patrick (whom we know as “St. Patrick of Ireland”), and others like him used to reach the Celtic tribes of Ireland with the message of Jesus.  Basically, Hunter’s observation is that since Patrick not only “converted” pretty much the entire island of Ireland to Christianity in one generation, but it was a conversion that lasted and impacted not only their own culture but the cultures around them, then perhaps there is value in his model of ministry that we could learn from!

So what was the model of ministry, the “way of being and doing church”?  They would live in their own “village within the village” in very intentional ways.  Their lives were very spiritual and community focused, with a 5-fold structure of experiences binding and challenging people within the monastic community.  The five folds were:

1. Voluntary periods of solitary isolation
2. Communicating with a “soul friend” – a peer with whom you were vulnerable and accountable (to whom you confessed and who supported and challenged you)
3. Small group interaction (groups of 10 or less) led by a devoted disciple of Jesus
4. Participation in “common life” (meals, work, learning, bible recitation, prayers, and communal worship)
5. Ministry and witness to non-Christians (through small group, soul friend, or communal life)

As they lived an obviously different lifestyle they began to engage the community around them by welcoming them into fellowship and beginning conversations, believing firmly that community must first be established, fellowship experienced, and from that place conversations of faith will begin.  It was observed that over time interested individuals would discover that they in fact actually believed the teachings and the faith of the community around them.

As seekers spent time with a Celtic Christian community, they typically found themselves believing what the Christians taught.  Indeed, the Celtic Christians undoubtedly discovered that the presence of seekers observing them for “the authentic sign” provided an additional incentive for living faithful lives.

In other words they understood that, “belonging comes before believing.”

This concept of community, of intentionality, of a demonstrated different way of living based out of deep seeded beliefs is incredibly intriguing to me.  I was a little disappointed to find that Hunter wrote later in the book,

The two most prominent Celtic approaches to evangelization – a monastic community welcoming seekers and guests and teams from the monastic community visiting settlements for weeks or months – might, at first blush, seem unavailable to churches today.  None of us live in Celtic monastic communities, and it is not vocationally possible for most of us to relocate in teams for blocks of time.  This is a case, however, in which the specific models cannot be replicated, but the principles can be applied in new relevant ways.

Why simply swipe over this and eliminate it from possibility?  Is that to say that the Celtic Christian evangelists did what they did with no cost to themselves, and because our cost is too high, we therefore cannot possibly imagine doing the same thing the same way?  Why not?   Just because we do not currently live in monastic communities or live lifestyles that allow blocks of time for evangelism does not mean that we should not live that way. Before we simply diminish a modern-day monastic community established after the Celtic monastic communities, let us first consider what it might look life if attempted!

Why simply wipe out modern-day monastic communities from possibility simply because our lifestyles potentially look very different today than they did a thousand years ago? I do not think that a monastic lifestyle was a normal expression of life to anyone until they joined one!  Perhaps there was more in the Celtic or Roman culture that facilitated this type of community, but it was definitely not the standard lifestyle of the day, and therefore meant change, and choices for everyone – even then. Therefore, just because we do not currently live in monastic communities or live lifestyles that allow blocks of time for evangelism does not mean that we should not live that way. Before we simply dismiss modern-day monastic communities from the realm of possibilities, let us first consider what it might look life if attempted!

Let us explore how it would look to live in a monastery-like community.  Celtic Christians did not retreat from society to create solitude and secrecy, but instead went to the places where people were – they went to the villages and towns.  But instead of simply living intermingled with them, they chose, as teams, as groups of 10 or more people, to live together in a village-within-a-village.  They had walls around their monastery – not to keep people out, but to denote something different, a break from the culture.  Within their community there were homes of hospitality where guests were welcomed in and cared for.  There were certain individuals within the monastery who were responsible for welcoming and taking care of guests.  Meals were shared communally, as were many forms of prayer and worship.  Perhaps building homes and putting walls around them is not incredible feasible in our context today, but why couldn’t we gather together 10 families, couples, or individuals and move into an apartment complex together?  Or into a new housing development?

The way the church often looks now is that there is a single Christian family living in the midst of an apartment complex, or in a cul-de-sac, but it is difficult to live a different kind of community independent of others being in your community!  What if five families moved together into a cul-de-sac and chose to live life differently together?  What if five or ten couples moved into an apartment complex and chose to live life differently together?  Wouldn’t this be the beginning of a modern-day monastic community?

Now let us take a moment and explore the possibilities of what life could look like today in a way that encapsulates the Celtic Christian’s five-fold approach to life.  To refresh our memory, these folds are: 1 – voluntary periods of solitary isolation, 2 – communicating with a “soul friend” – a peer with whom you were vulnerable and accountable (to whom you confessed and who supported and challenged you), 3. small group interaction (groups of 10 or less) led by a devoted disciple of Jesus, 4 – participation in “common life” (meals, work, learning, bible recitation, prayers, and communal worship), and 5 – ministry and witness to non-Christians (through small group, soul friend, or communal life).

So five families move into cul-de-sac together, determined to live life in a communal way, not just as neighbors, but as a church, as the family of God, and as one unit.  They decide that as an intentional community there are a few things that are important to them. They decide on certain “expected” practices of: honest friendship (where confession, encouragement, and correction occur in a safe relationship); small groups (where together they are learning how to better follow Jesus – if there are only 5 families, it may simply be one small group); communal activities (meals – maybe just dinners, daily worship and prayer times, hospitality to strangers, bible story sharing, etc); and spiritual disciplines (such a silence and solitude).

It may sound complicated and difficult, but it definitely doesn’t sound impossible!  It may look a whole lot different than Celtic monastic life, but maybe that’s ok.

Having thought through how a modern-day monastic community might look, I am left with two questions: what would be the point of living life this way, and how would this type of community impact culturally expected aspects of life (work, finances, children, school, marriage, church, etc)?

Why would anyone want to live this way?  What’s the point?  Well, the point for St. Patrick and his people was to bring Jesus to Ireland, to live in such a way that those around them watch, wonder about, and join in.  How can the point be any different for us than to live in such a way that invites others to join in our community and eventually find themselves believe what we believe because they see the truth through our lives. If the Christian church in the United States was living consistently this way already, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, but instead we find the very real need for a model of life that enables this to happen!  Let us remember that using this model, St. Patrick was able to change the culture of Ireland in just one generation.  That is an incredible accomplishment.  So the possibility of a model of living that can lead to the changing of our culture in a generation is worth considering.  It could be that there are other models of life that could accomplish the same thing.  If that is the case then let us acknowledge, applaud, and participate in them to see our communities reached with the redemption of the kingdom of Jesus Christ!

What would be the implications of this type of lifestyle on many aspects of life that typically engage in (this is not to say that the practice of that behavior is right or wrong to begin with)?

Well, life would definitely look different.  Perhaps the biggest impact on life is the use of time – and this impacts everything else.  The way the monastic communities of Ireland functioned were time-intensive.  Communal times of prayer and worship, of serving, of hospitality, and solitude severely cut into work hours.  If this type of lifestyle requires more time, then work must be diminished and this in turn will impact finances, financial security, and person feelings of self-worth (for those who allow finances to impact their personal identity).  The intentional communities of Ireland functioned far more like what it sounds like the Acts church did – they held all their resources in common, shared life together, and met the needs of each other and of the community together.

So living this way would require living on less.  But if we were to live together, wouldn’t we need less?  Think of how many fewer cars we would need if we became focused on our communities.  Think of how much less food we would buy if we had community gardens to grow our own.  Think of how much less we would pay for child-care and day-care if we were living in communities that valued children and worked together to raise them.  Maybe that’s just the tip of the ice-burg.

Ultimately, for there to be a group of Christians in the United States who desired to live this way, it would take a drastic change in lifestyle, and a re-structuring of values.  Maybe that’s not all that bad of an idea.  Difficult, yes.  Most definitely.  But not impossible.  Maybe even good.

I’m not making some claim that all Christians in America need to begin living this way, but I’m just inviting you to begin thinking about this.  What if, when you begin to consider buying a house, or moving to a new city, or changing neighborhoods, you invited ten other people to consider it with you?

How much would we impact our communities if we had actual pockets of Christians living an alternative lifestyle.  Christians in America are invisible.  Maybe we say something about morality, or vote by different standards (not always God’s standards), or speak with a little less vulgarity.  But what if we stood out because we lived together and we lived different!?  How much greater of an impact could we have!

Think about it.  And let me know what you think.

The Master of the Universe (a very Jewish way to describe God), has been showing me lately just how much I have to learn, how much I must learn, about endurance.  I am very aware of the traits of the generation that I am apart of.  I am very aware that I carry many of them.  One of the traits that influences me through in through is my dislike for discomfort.  This makes endurance a very difficult thing.  Endurance is all about being uncomfortable for an extended period of time.  If there was no discomfort there would be no endurance because it would be called “enjoyment” instead of “endurance.”  But this theme is found weaved throughout this letter that James wrote – in fact he bookends this letter with thoughts on endurance.

Right at the beginning, in chapter 1, he makes a plea for his brothers and sisters in the faith to find joy in suffering.  The entire reason he gave for them to find joy in suffering was because they were to understand that, “the testing of your faith produces endurance,” and that the “full effect” of endurance would be that they, “may be mature and complete, lacking nothing” (verses 2-4)  So the whole reason why Christians should rejoice in suffering is so that they can have a place to practice endurance which will lead to being completely mature.

The next place James mentions endurance is just a few verses later, when, in verse 12 he says, “blessed is anyone who endures temptation.”  Why?  Well this ties into what Jesus said on the sermon on the mount (matthew 5:10), “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  This continues the first theme of endurance in the face of suffering for the name of Jesus.

In James 1:25 he addresses a different form of endurance, the kind of endurance that is persistence in doing the right thing.  ”But those who look into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and persevere, being not hearers who forget but doers who act – they will be blessed in their doing.”  I have chosen to join “persevere” and “endure” together, because the concept is the same.

These two concepts of endurance through suffering and persecution and endurance in doing what is right are brought together into a final encouragement toward endurance in general.  James 5:7,10-11 says, “Be patient, therefore, beloved, until the coming of the Lord… As an example of suffering a patience, beloved, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord.  Indeed, we call blessed those who show endurance.  You have heard of the endurance of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.”
Here James gives us two examples to model our endurance after: the prophets (many of whom were killed for the sake of the message of God, and all of whom experienced persecution and hardship), and Job (the story found in the book of Job – if you’re not sure what he endured, just read the first 2 chapters!).  The point is very clear: endurance is something that God calls his children to.   We are to endure “until the coming of the Lord,”  for God blesses those who endure (Mt.5, James 5:11).

All of this does not change my reality that I suck at enduring.  I am just really bad at it.  I don’t think I have a negative perception of myself, I just think that I am part of a generation that has had fairly comfortable lives (comfort does not mean easy, for very few of our lives have been easy).  When something uncomfortable happens, there is almost always some way of escape, or something we can turn to to either block out the pain or to bring pleasure.  We are a people that pursues pleasure and I think we often pursue it, not simply because we want it, but because we are so aware of the pain in the world and want to avoid it as much as we can.

So what do I do, now that I clearly see my deficiency in “enduring”? I turn to God and ask for help.  Will he give me endurance straight up?  Probably not.  But he might bless me with small opportunities in which I can succeed in enduring.  There are big things in my life that I desire to endure, but every time I face them I fail.  I must believe that God is bigger than my discomfort.  I must run to him instead of pleasure.  I must being to recognize and rejoice in the small endurances, because when I recognize and rejoice in the little, I will begin to believe that I can endure the big.

Savior Jesus, Holy Spirit, God my King,
Give me grace to endure,
Give me strength to stand on your word and in your presence.
Give me truth to speak against the deceit that seeks to destroy.
Give me hope that you are bigger.
Give me joy the endurance you bring me through.
And give me comfort in my failures.
You are my God, my Savior, my King.
Thank you.

Time for confessions.  Yesterday was a pretty rough day.  One of those days when you feel like an absolute failure even though common sense tells you you’re not, and simply by looking at your life you can prove to yourself that you’re not a failure, but yet for some reason you still feel that way – like something is missing but you don’t know what, or that the world is about to crash on your head and you can’t tell when or why or stop it.  Yeah, it was one of those strange days.
I woke up this morning feeling almost exactly the same.  Then I got a late start on my day because the person I was carpooling with didn’t show up till after our scheduled departure date (which on a normal day doens’t really matter, but when you’re off-kilter already it does for some reason).  Then, once we hit the freeway my car decided that it didn’t want to work in any other gear other than first, so we drove 25 miles an hour all the way to church.  Not like I made anyone angry with me or anything (since it was my intentional choice to be driving 25mph on the highway with my emergency flashers on of course).  At one point this blonde lady with too much make up pulled up behind me in her yellow HummerH3 – like right up on my tail (close enough I could see how much makeup she was wearing through my rear-view mirror) and started cussing me out and freaking out.  Really?! We’re in the far right lane!  It’s called the slow lane for a reason.  You’d think if you saw a car going 25mph on the freeway and you were in a hurry you’d go around – but no! Not for a full 2 minutes of motioning with her hands for me to drive on the shoulder (which I’m fairly certain is illegal) and swearing at me with just about every word known in English – and maybe some in another language too.  Maybe I shouldn’t have been looking in my rearview mirror.  Maybe she should have more compassion for those who aren’t able to drop $50,000 on a car that is significantly overpriced. Maybe I should have more compassion on her. Anyway.

Finally we got to work where my office was a pleasant 41 degrees.  Beautiful.  I love the cold.  Not.  So here I sit wondering if happiness is a choice.  My wife tells me it is.  My heart tells me it is.  I’m pretty sure the spirit of God is nudging me that it is.  But maybe I don’t want it to be!  Ever have those days?  Those days where for some reason it is easier, more pleasant (only for me of course) to be grumpy and pissed off at the world than to take the time to choose to be happy.

I always tell my students, “how you feel does not dictate what you do.”  I’m pretty sure how I feel right now is dictating what I’m doing.
But if happiness is a choice, then how do I choose it?  Maybe I just take a moment and observe the absurdity of my day.   Maybe I pause for a moment and invite Jesus to be part of my day (not that he hasn’t been here the whole time, but I’m pretty sure I’ve kept him for entering my mind and heart this morning).  Maybe I take a second and think of the incredible love that I have been shown in the past week.  Perhaps I stop to think of all the people who I care about and who genuinely care about me.  Maybe I consider for a brief moment in time the incredible sacrifice my Savior gave for my sake – how he loved me enough to live a life that demonstrated how to live in unity with God, how he loved me enough to be beaten and broken for me, how he loved me enough to give up his life (a good life, full of friendship and incredible stories), and how he loved me enough to defeat death that I may find and claim victory in His name and be filled with His Spirit through which I can overcome all things.

Maybe when I stop and consider all of this I can set aside my frustration at the disappointment of the past few days and place myself in the grace of my Savior and welcome him back into his place in my life.  Maybe that is the choice to be happy.  Truly I cannot be happy on my own, outside of the Spirit of God dwelling within me.  Truly I cannot pick my attitude up by its boot-straps and have a smile be anything more than a painting over a cracked canvas.

But truly in the presence of God there is grace even for me.  Surely in the presence of God there is hope that overcomes sorrow, hope that overcomes frustration, hope that overcomes shame and doubt.  It is in that hope, the hope that God can use me yet, that who I have been is not who I am is not who I will be, hope that God is in the process of saving me through his grace and power.  Maybe in that hope is happiness.  Maybe by choosing to reach out and take hold of that hope it is possible for me to reach out and take hold of happiness for this day, for this moment, for this life.

Maybe I will try it.  I feel peace rising up in me already.  Maybe I can start my day here. Right here, right now, with Jesus, with hope, maybe even with happiness.

A few weeks ago a homegroup from our church came up and put on a carnival for the kids in our neighborhood.  It was pooring rain (the one day that week it rained of course), but there were still almost 60 kids out having fun!  After the carnival about 30 of them came back to our house to watch a short cartoon and eat some popcorn.  We kept getting asked by amazed faces did you guys do this?! We told them our friends did, and they kept saying, you guys are so cool! And we didn’t even do anything.  Thank you to all who came up and put it on – you did all the work and you made us look so good without doing anything!  Perhaps the greatest outcome of the carnival was a mom we had never met (though 2 of her 3 boys are at our house all the time) came into our house to watch the movie with us.  In any other context there is little chance she would have come into our home, but this was a safe context, and it allowed us to make a connection and begin a relationship with her!  So cool.

The novelty of the Michelle and Brian have long since worn off and life has taken a much more methodical style. Mondays: date day; Tuesdays: homework club; Wednesdays: The Young @ Mill Creek Foursquare; Saturdays: family night; Sundays: @ Mill Creek Foursquare.
Tuesdays we’re at homework club after school from which the kids all follow us home and hang out until we kick them out for dinner. They always come back after if we let them.  One of the boundaries we’ve established is a protection around our dinner time as a family – no phone calls, no text messages, and no kids that don’t belong to us (my brother who is now living with us gets to stay:]).  I’m still learning to abide by these boundaries!

Last Tuesday Emilio came into homework club and handed me a set of childrens’ books.  I looked at him and asked him, “you want me to hold onto these for you?” He answered, “No, those are for you.” I was so confused and asked him what he meant.  He explained to us that he had told his teacher about us, how he comes to our house to do his homework and read some of the books we have, and she wanted to help our “library”, so she gave us a set of books!  How cool is that!?!? We’ve never met this teacher, yet she has blessed us incredibly.  And what an honor to be such a part of a child’s life that he tells his teacher at school about us!  Wow.  God is so good.

Speaking of God being good, so are his people!  We had an opportunity to share about what we are doing at church a couple weeks ago, and have been blessed by the response of our community.  The Goertz family donated about 60 books and 30 matchbox cars.  The cars have now replaced the LEGOs as the favorite toy, and the books allowed us to officially open our “library”!  It was a beautiul thing.  Eight students followed us back from homework club and their eyes expanded upon seeing all the new books!  an we read them!? They all wanted to know.  I told them better than that, they can even borrow them!  Like a library? one of them asked me.  Absolutely.  The spent the next twenty minutes going through all the books and finding ones they could read – I had to use the “five-finger-rule” with a few of them to get an appropriate book (if there are more than 5 words on a page they can’t read it’s probably too hard for fun reading).  We have a little notebook in which they write down their name, the name ofthe book, and the date they borrowed it.  They can get a second book after we’ve checked off the return of their first book.  Two sixth grade boys asked me with excited faces, “Can we be library helpers?  Can we organize the books for you?“  Absolutely, are you kidding me! So now,almost daily, we have students returning a book and getting another.

Sometimes now that life has become more methodical I begin to think that we are doing less, that our impact is lessening, that we should be doing more.  Then something happens like Emilio bringing us books from his teacher that remind us that we are living intentionally present, that we are caring about the kids and they know it, and we are having an impact.  Maybe we could do more.  Maybe we could be more intentional about getting to know more adults.  Maybe.  Life is hard when it’s busy – and it’s hard to make more time for community, eh?  We too struggle with this.  The most common feeling we have is that Michelle and I do not have enough time for each other.  So sometimes we kick the kids out, close the blinds, and play games or talk – just the two of us.  Living in community is not about burning out.  But it is about making a difference, no matter how big.

God has blessed us immeasurably the past five months.  The children have brought great joy (and weariness at times) to us, and our community has supported and encouraged us.  I doubt we will ever be content to live any other way.  The greatest part of constantly allowing the love of God to flow out of us is that we are constantly encountering new love of God flowing into us.  His mercies are truly new every morning.

So, there’s a little update.  Thank you all so much who have been a part of what God has done in our neighborhood – big and small!   May God’s love be present in your neighborhood through you.

The technological age and advanced science has brought the reality that the entire world is accessible to us. If we want something from another country we can buy it online and have it shipped directly to us within a week. If we want to go to Africa, it is just a plane ride away. We are so impatient when things take time. I’ll be honest, I was on a computer that was 5 years old and was complaining about how slow it is. I wanted it to be fast! Many just graduating from high school have the mentality of entitlement that spurred this overall thought. I know many that don’t have a job, don’t go to school, live with their parents and do not pay them anything for food, rent, gas or insurance and feel burdened by the idea of helping out around the house. We think we should have everything without giving anything.  I’ll admit, I at times felt that it was my parent’s responsibility to pay for my college education, in which I was totally wrong. Mom and Dad, forgive me.

Even young kids today, unless trained well, believe that they should have anything they want if they just ask. The interaction that I have with the kids at the Bluffs is so often one of entitlement in the small ways. Most of the time they pose a question, but the question is like, “I can play legos?” or “Can I have an otter pop?” with the facial expression of com’on, hurry up, just give it to me already. There have been other times when kids just open our freezer and grab things without asking. I know these interactions seem petty and insignificant, but it is a small reflection of the sense of entitlement, like we owe them a snack. We have to train them to ask nicely and to wait patiently.

Our current generation has either forgotten or has not been taught that everything we have is a gift. We need to be reminded of how people have sacrificed for us in order for us to be where we are today.  This is not only true in the material possessions that we have but also true with our walk with God. If we don’t know what discipline or hard work looks like, then we will be abruptly surprised that having a relationship with God or following Jesus is not easy.  FYI, I am making generalizations here and this is not an accurate portrayal of all in our generation. Yet, I feel we all feel this way even if just in the small ways.

Kids need to be kids, yes. But there is a crucial element of teaching kids discipline and making them work for something instead of just handing it to them. I appreciate the work that my parents made me do when I was a kid and I also realize how they let me off the hook sometimes in order to enjoy life without the responsibilities of an adult.

We feel entitled to much, to significantly too much. Much of our current generation is lazy. How do we fix that? Well, all I know is that much humility has to come in order for this problem to be fixed. I foresee many in our generation going broke or surrounding themselves with massive debt before they learn this lesson. I foresee many that will try to follow Jesus but will become easily discouraged and will either leave the faith or have one of no depth.

As a parent I have wrestled with the same issues of exposing our kids to the “sin, pain,etc.” that is in this world versus protecting them and shielding them from all the uglies this world has to offer. Raising kids in a happy, clean, safe world and protecting them from the outside is a tempting way to go. However, I don’t think kids will be prepared to go out in the real world and deal with it if that is the way they are raised. I also think that it is dangerous to expect kids, teenagers to be able to handle being exposed to things like drug use/ sex and addiction, mental illness, violence, etc. without having a strong parent or adult to walk alongside them as they reach out to hurt people. I think a lot of times parents allow their kids/teens into situations that they are not ready to be able to handle. Every child/teen is different, each has a different level of inner strength. Some are leaders and not easily swayed, others are followers and can be sucked into unhealthy behaviors much easier. “Good” parents are those that are in tune with their children and know who can handle which situation. For our family bringing hurt people into our house has been an ongoing ministry. Personally I feel much safer having hurt people stay with us and have our whole family ministering  (loving on them) than having our kids going elsewhere to reach out. Besides foster kids we have had many adults live with us (usually when we don’t have foster kids). We’ve had pregnant teens and women, a woman who was in prison and granted clemency to die outside of prison with liver cancer, a women with severe post partum psychosis who was in and out of inpatient psychiatric unit, persons with addiction issues who have suffered every type of abuse, we’ve had three people die in our house from terminal illnesses. Each person that stayed with us got to be loved by an entire family and our family got to learn how to love and be loved by all sorts of people with all sorts of pain. I haven’t had to worry about if our kids will be pulled into drug use/addiction, teen sex/pregnancy etc., Our kids have got to see the other side, not the glamorized side of sin. They also got to walk though extreme life situations with a family who is very present and they know how to cry out to God. I hope that in the end it has made the kids much stronger in their faith and in their love for people. In your blog you talk about balancing protecting versus making a impact in our world. It is possible to do both as long as the family is right by their child’s side as they reach out. If not much damage can come. I understand why a parent wouldn’t want their son hanging out with another teenager who is actively smoking pot but I also see how that family (not just the teenager) could reach out to that teen and make a huge impact on his world. It does all come down to the family not just the teen to be able to avoid some of the potential pitfalls.

There you have it.  Thank you Cindy for your encouragement to us to move from a mindset of “protection” to one of wise engagement!

“Dude, this sucks, my dad won’t let me hang out with Nathan because he has friends that smoke pot and my dad’s afraid they’ll influence me.  I want to bring him to church, but my dad says I can’t hang out with him.”

Two thoughts came to my mind in that moment, two thoughts that seemed contradictory in practice but essential in faith.  The first was: Friends influence.  If you hang with bad friends they will influence you in bad ways.  I totally understand why your dad doesn’t want you spending time with them. The second thought brought the conflict: If we never hang out with “sinners” how are they going to know the love of Jesus? Do you see the dilemma?  I’m sure it’s an issue every Christian parent has wrestled with on numerous occasions.  How do we balance the call of Jesus to be light in the darkness with our role as responsible adults and parents to protect our children and those in our care? As easy as it could be as a youth pastor to become frustrated with Nick’s father for removing Nick’s ability to influence his friends toward Jesus, criticism and judgment are never the answer.

The past couple weeks we’ve been helping our neighbor get a hold of her life.  Long-time alcoholic and leader (and enabler) of her family, she has spent years helping everyone except herself.  As we’ve been walking with her she has come to the realization that she needs to take care of herself because she has no ability to truly take care of anyone else.  As those who support life-change we have assisted her with things from electric bills to rides to church and job interviews.  Over and over I have heard her say, “I need to get out of here.  I need to get off the Road.”  By here she means The Bluffs, and by the Road she means Casino Road.  She has this understanding that it’s her living in the ghetto that keeps her from getting her life back together – that if she can just eliminate the “ghetto” from her life, she can save herself.

Our neighbor was coming from the opposite end of the situational spectrum from Nick’s parents.  Our neighbor felt contaminated by the darkness of the influences around her.  Nick’s parents were trying to protect him from the negative influence of bad friends, to keep that very darkness that our neighbor felt as far away from their son as they could.  But their perspectives were the same: the problem is the environment.  Get out or avoid the environment, and you will be safe. If this is the case, if the environment is the problem, then finding the solution is as simple as finding an environment that contains no darkness.  Right.  When you find it, let me know.

When we remove ourselves from an environment that contains incredible darkness we often find that we are present in the exact same kind of darkness that we tried to get away from.  Our neighbor may move, but chances are she’ll fall into the same patterns of darkness in her new environment.  Nick’s parents may not allow him to hang out with Nathan, but chances are he’ll find some way to hang out with some friend who will influence him negatively.  Taking ourselves out of our environment recognizes only the darkness around us.  It fails to recognize the light within us.  I’m pretty sure that in Matthew 5 Jesus did not instruct his disciples to take their light and run as fast as they could from the darkness.  To focus on protecting ourselves only from the environment around us removes us from places of influence, from the ability to bring light into the darkness.

At this point there may be some of you who are ready to string me up by my thumbs.  Maybe you have a child who has been hanging with the wrong kids and you’ve seen him or her wander off.  Maybe you’ve had neighbors that stayed in negative situations and were swallowed up by the environment.  What I am not talking about is status-quo.  What I am not talking about is taking a hands-off policy to our kids and telling our neighbors to just stay where they are.  What I am talking about is a different kind of movement, a different kind of change, a different kind of friendship, and a different kind of parenting.

When we choose to remove our light, we choose to allow the dark to stay dark.  We see this constantly in the ghettos.  A ghetto is a ghetto because it is populated by a lot of people without a whole lot of money.  It stays poor because when people find money, they run from the ghetto as fast as they can, taking their money with them.  Where’s the hope in that?  I wonder what our ghettos would look like if people chose to move into them, instead of move out of them.  I wonder what the projects would look like if people of hope moved in and befriended a neighbor like mine and showed that neighbor that there is hope for change within, within community, without having to constantly run.  There is change without running!

I wonder what our communities would look like if parents invited the “bad” kids over instead of forbidding their kids from playing with them.  I wonder what detention at school would look like, what juvey would look like if, instead of banning their kids from playing with those kids, they had them over and showed them love, acceptance, mercy, forgiveness, and grace.

Is it easy?  Absolutely not.  Is it messy?  Completely.  Does it take time?  More than most of us have right now (which necessitates another discussion on our choices of life).  We need something different.  We need this.  Telling our kids not to play with bad kids doesn’t work.  Moving away from darkness doesn’t work – it always comes with you.  Protecting ourselves from the world doesn’t work.  We need something different.  We need to change our defensive protection strategies to creative offensive engagement of our communities.  Only by opening our arms and our homes to our communities can we truly protect our own people, and we’ll transform lives in the process!

That’s a pretty standard conversation with Cassandra, a self-proclaimed “little girl” (usually to the end that she solicits my help building LEGO structures that she could very readily make herself), and community tattle-tale.  It’s one of the interesting dynamics that occur as we watch the numerous different children play on our patio.  It’s so much fun to sit on our couch chatting with Michelle and watch the kids playing  – not always with us, but in a safe, interactive context that our home facilitates.  It’s hilarious to learn that the younger kids’ understanding of “sharing” has much more to do with others not taking the lego piece they wanted, so Kevin exclaiming, Brian, (fill in the name)’s not sharing! is almost followed by, Kevin, are you sharing?  Cause that’s all I need to know!

I had an opportunity last week to share some stories of what has been occurring here at The Bluffs with some new friends I met at camp.  After telling of the many kids that hang out at our house (usually the same 20 or so kids, but every day there is someone new, so the interaction is far greater – maybe closer to 60 or 80 kids we’ve interacted with at our house), my friend exclaimed, That sounds like so much work! I didn’t even know how to respond at first.  Lots of work?  Hard work?  I guess I’d never really thought about it.  When I tell the stories, I think people get the impression that what we do at The Bluffs is what we do for our job, for the focus of our lives.  It’s not. Michelle and I both work other full-time jobs.  What we do at The Bluffs is simply what we do when we are home.  So, is it lots of work?  Actually, no, I don’t think it is.  I tried to explain the simplicity of what we do.  We choose not to have anything in our house that we’re not ok with someone stealing or breaking, because it allows us to simply open our doors and not worry about who is coming in.  We choose to facilitate a space where kids can play together – this absolutely does not mean that we play with them all the time.  I probably only play legos once a week, but the kids are there every day.

I think my friend’s paradigm is unfortunately common.  I think that many people look at what we do and think the same thing: it’s a lot of work.  That thought is a thought of fear, of bondage, not of freedom.  And it’s not even true!  I began to question why that is the standard reaction, and that question led me to the greater question of what does it mean to build community?  We use words like “intentional community” or “missional living”, both wonderful terms, but both terms laced with what sounds like a lot of work.  You have to be intentional to build intentional community.  Does intentional=lots of hours?  Not necessarily.  Let me explain what I mean by living missionally, by living intentionally in our communities.

A couple days ago I went to pick up a couch that we had used at camp and Michelle and I are “storing” permanently in our home.  I had borrowed a truck (thank you John and Amy!), but needed a hand to get the couch.  So I knocked on my neighbor Cory’s door.  Cory is about my age, and we’ve had a few conversations.  I asked him if he could spare twenty minutes to give me a hand, and he kindly obliged.  The couch ended up not being where we thought it was, so the trip was a seeming waste of time, but the twenty minutes in the truck with Cory built friendship.  We talked about life.  He shared his frustration at being caught in the position that no matter how much he wants to live life with a purpose, everything he tries gets slammed back in his face.  He’s got a rough past, but is trying to get things together, he just never seems to get any help.  He finally got a job painting and cleaning apartments only to work for two weeks and get paid one day’s worth of wages.  What’s he suppose to do?  He actually is trying, but the world keeps slapping him in the face.  So we didn’t get the couch, but we did experience some intentional community.  What did I do?  I invited Cory to share part of my life.  The relationship I had with Cory before I invited him was not on the “it’s-now-ok-for-me-to-ask-you-for-favors” level, but I didn’t care, I invited him to that level of friendship anyway – and now we are on that level.  That’s intentional community.

Later that evening, after the unsuccessful, but very valuable, trip to get my couch, I went to return the truck to John and Amy.  As I walked out of my building toward the truck, I saw Anna’s daughter Shiloh and Cory’s brother Casey just chilling outside.  I stopped and chatted for a bit, not too long, but a bit.  They said they weren’t doing anything.  I began to walk away, then a thought struck me, so I turned back and invited them to ride with me.  We didn’t do anything, we just drove one mile down the street, traded cars, and drove back, but we built friendship.  I learned a little bit about them.  We got home, I parked the car, they went back to chilling and doing nothing, and I went home.  That’s intentional community.

Hard work?  Hardly.  I didn’t use any extra energy, I didn’t put in any extra hours, all I did was think about what I was going to do, and invite others to join me in it, thereby developing friendship that wouldn’t have happened if I had never knocked on Cory’s door, or never invited Shiloh or Casey to ride with me.  Intentional community is accessible to us all.  Living missionally is something we all can (and should) do.  It may look different for you than I, but all it takes is a little intentional thinking.  So I ask, who are you going to invite to share your life this week? It may be asking a neighbor if they want to go to the store with you if they need anything; it may be taking some cookies or beer next door and sharing it with your neighbors as you make conversation and friends, instead of just dropping it and leaving.  Whatever it looks like, let’s be intentional about living with a purpose, about reaching those around us – not with wordy reasons why they should repent of their sin, but with love, with friendship, and with generosity!