McMahon Life

“Hey Brian?”
“Yes, Cassandra?”
“Last year Kevin hit me.”
“Did it happen today?”
“No.”
“Then Cassandra, if it didn’t happen just now you don’t need to tell me about it!”

That’s a pretty standard conversation with Cassandra, a self-proclaimed “little girl” (usually to the end that she solicits my help building LEGO structures that she could very readily make herself), and community tattle-tale.  It’s one of the interesting dynamics that occur as we watch the numerous different children play on our patio.  It’s so much fun to sit on our couch chatting with Michelle and watch the kids playing  – not always with us, but in a safe, interactive context that our home facilitates.  It’s hilarious to learn that the younger kids’ understanding of “sharing” has much more to do with others not taking the lego piece they wanted, so Kevin exclaiming, Brian, (fill in the name)’s not sharing! is almost followed by, Kevin, are you sharing?  Cause that’s all I need to know!

I had an opportunity last week to share some stories of what has been occurring here at The Bluffs with some new friends I met at camp.  After telling of the many kids that hang out at our house (usually the same 20 or so kids, but every day there is someone new, so the interaction is far greater – maybe closer to 60 or 80 kids we’ve interacted with at our house), my friend exclaimed, That sounds like so much work! I didn’t even know how to respond at first.  Lots of work?  Hard work?  I guess I’d never really thought about it.  When I tell the stories, I think people get the impression that what we do at The Bluffs is what we do for our job, for the focus of our lives.  It’s not. Michelle and I both work other full-time jobs.  What we do at The Bluffs is simply what we do when we are home.  So, is it lots of work?  Actually, no, I don’t think it is.  I tried to explain the simplicity of what we do.  We choose not to have anything in our house that we’re not ok with someone stealing or breaking, because it allows us to simply open our doors and not worry about who is coming in.  We choose to facilitate a space where kids can play together – this absolutely does not mean that we play with them all the time.  I probably only play legos once a week, but the kids are there every day.

I think my friend’s paradigm is unfortunately common.  I think that many people look at what we do and think the same thing: it’s a lot of work.  That thought is a thought of fear, of bondage, not of freedom.  And it’s not even true!  I began to question why that is the standard reaction, and that question led me to the greater question of what does it mean to build community?  We use words like “intentional community” or “missional living”, both wonderful terms, but both terms laced with what sounds like a lot of work.  You have to be intentional to build intentional community.  Does intentional=lots of hours?  Not necessarily.  Let me explain what I mean by living missionally, by living intentionally in our communities.

A couple days ago I went to pick up a couch that we had used at camp and Michelle and I are “storing” permanently in our home.  I had borrowed a truck (thank you John and Amy!), but needed a hand to get the couch.  So I knocked on my neighbor Cory’s door.  Cory is about my age, and we’ve had a few conversations.  I asked him if he could spare twenty minutes to give me a hand, and he kindly obliged.  The couch ended up not being where we thought it was, so the trip was a seeming waste of time, but the twenty minutes in the truck with Cory built friendship.  We talked about life.  He shared his frustration at being caught in the position that no matter how much he wants to live life with a purpose, everything he tries gets slammed back in his face.  He’s got a rough past, but is trying to get things together, he just never seems to get any help.  He finally got a job painting and cleaning apartments only to work for two weeks and get paid one day’s worth of wages.  What’s he suppose to do?  He actually is trying, but the world keeps slapping him in the face.  So we didn’t get the couch, but we did experience some intentional community.  What did I do?  I invited Cory to share part of my life.  The relationship I had with Cory before I invited him was not on the “it’s-now-ok-for-me-to-ask-you-for-favors” level, but I didn’t care, I invited him to that level of friendship anyway – and now we are on that level.  That’s intentional community.

Later that evening, after the unsuccessful, but very valuable, trip to get my couch, I went to return the truck to John and Amy.  As I walked out of my building toward the truck, I saw Anna’s daughter Shiloh and Cory’s brother Casey just chilling outside.  I stopped and chatted for a bit, not too long, but a bit.  They said they weren’t doing anything.  I began to walk away, then a thought struck me, so I turned back and invited them to ride with me.  We didn’t do anything, we just drove one mile down the street, traded cars, and drove back, but we built friendship.  I learned a little bit about them.  We got home, I parked the car, they went back to chilling and doing nothing, and I went home.  That’s intentional community.

Hard work?  Hardly.  I didn’t use any extra energy, I didn’t put in any extra hours, all I did was think about what I was going to do, and invite others to join me in it, thereby developing friendship that wouldn’t have happened if I had never knocked on Cory’s door, or never invited Shiloh or Casey to ride with me.  Intentional community is accessible to us all.  Living missionally is something we all can (and should) do.  It may look different for you than I, but all it takes is a little intentional thinking.  So I ask, who are you going to invite to share your life this week? It may be asking a neighbor if they want to go to the store with you if they need anything; it may be taking some cookies or beer next door and sharing it with your neighbors as you make conversation and friends, instead of just dropping it and leaving.  Whatever it looks like, let’s be intentional about living with a purpose, about reaching those around us – not with wordy reasons why they should repent of their sin, but with love, with friendship, and with generosity!

 love the smell of my house after a long absence.  You know the smell?  And the feeling that hits you right when you walk in the door whispering home sweet home, welcome back!  You know it?  That was waiting for Michelle and I as we returned to our beloved Bluffs from two weeks (me) and one week (Michelle) of summer camp late Saturday evening.  I missed The Bluffs.  I missed the kids.  You’d think I might not, since the two weeks I was gone I was surrounded by 400 adolescents, but yes indeed, I missed our people, our kids, our friends.  It was a good feeling to be home, a great feeling.  There are two particular stories that occurred at The Bluffs during the week that I was gone and Michelle remained that I want to share with you.  A story of beauty, and a story of sorrow. 

The first story has to do with our neighbor Anna, a hilarious mother of six (the youngest is now 17).  As Michelle is talking to Anna one afternoon, Anna asks if we could help her with her electric.  Typically she receives some money from somewhere each month while her daughter Shiloh is in school that covers it, but being summer, she hadn’t received any, and therefore had a bill of $72 dollars that she could not pay.  She knew Michelle and I were “church folk” and asked if we could help.  Michelle responded that if we could not help, we know our community would.  So we sent out a message to all of our friends on Facebook who are part of what we are doing asking for help.  You responded in beauty, giving more than enough to cover her electric – and more. 

Yesterday Anna knocked on our door.  She needs to get her food-handler’s permit so that she could get a job, but didn’t have the $10 needed for the class.  Furthermore, she didn’t have a way to Monroe for her interview on Monday for a job she really needs.  We always support those who are trying, and because of the abundant generosity from the last time we asked for help, we still had money that we could give Anna for her food-handler’s card.  And, since I don’t work on Monday, I told her I’d drive her to her interview and back, and if she got the job, then we’d figure out something for the bus.  Ten minutes after she left we hear her calling from her balcony outside, Brian! Michelle!  We step outside to see what’s up as she smiles and asks, can Shiloh and I come to church with you on Sunday?  How do you respond to that?  Nothing less than a big smile and an emphatic Yes!  So the two of them will (hopefully!) come to the 9am service with us on Sunday, and we’ll drive them back between services before we teach at the 11am service.  We never said anything to her about church.  We never invited her, we never “evangelized” her.  We just loved her.  We’ll see what happens.

The second story has to do with perhaps our favorite group of kids, possibly the nicest, sweetest kids in the entire world – if you meet them you’ll understand: Emilio(8), Brian(3), Maria(14), and Ali(11) (all from one family).  On the first Wednesday at camp I called Michelle to check in and touch base, and she informed me that their parents had just split up and were getting a divorce.  Their dad had moved out, and their uncle had moved in (because without their dad’s income they would have been unable to make rent without help from their uncle).  My heart broke.  The rest of the week, and all through the next week of camp, my mind was regularly brought back to them.  Would the still be there when I got home?  Are they ok?  How are they feeling?  Do they blame themselves?  I returned home, and they are still here.  They come to our home every day, which is great, because I get a daily hug from Brian!  Sometimes I ask them, how are you?  Are you feeling sad?  They don’t talk about it much at all, and that’s ok.  Maybe as we continue to love them we can help them.  Right now we just want to be a safe place for them to be loved.  We’ll see what happens.

I share those two stories for one reason.  As I spent time away from my community, I realized how much I care about my neighbors, the people in community.  At camp I had numerous opportunities to share with others what Michelle and I are doing.  Unfortunately the majority of people were blown away.  A common response was that seems like it must be a lot of work!  On the contrary, we both work full time jobs.  The reality is that we have chosen to live for a purpose, and that purpose is living every moment with intentionality.

As I lay awake at night, concerned for my neighbors, praying for them, I often ask myself this question:  do my friends in Mill Creek lay awake at night concerned for, praying for their neighbors?  Do my friends in Lynnwood?  In Everett?  Do you?  Do you stay awake concerned for the people in your neighborhood?  What are the stories of your neighbors?  Do you know them?  Do you help them through their good times and rough times?  We all have people struggling in our neighborhoods – maybe not financially, but maybe emotionally, relationally, spiritually.  Are we invested enough, do we care enough, to walk with those around us through those situations?

Is it hard?  Sometimes.  There is sacrifice that comes when we choose to open our hearts to those around us.  But there is beauty in knowing that we are living for the Kingdom of God.  There is freedom.  What seems so hard to begin becomes so simple to live once you open yourself to the possibility that God has actually placed you in the community you are in, not just to live there, but to bring his Kingdom to your neighborhood.  It is not just Michelle and I who are called to live this way, this is the calling of Jesus upon all of us!